New year, new Obstacles, new problem but the faced by the same old people.
Why am i such a victim of all this?
have i done bad to people that i deserve all of this?
I have a painful yet quite a happy chilhood left behind me
well i call em interesting.
well i guess if u dont know me, u could've never guessed what happened.
Think of the saddest thing, and thats my story
but at the same time i learned that life goes on.
and sometimes, if u just try to forget and choose to be happier, u might just be happier.
But i just wonder
How can,
someone gets so unlucky?
Somebody who she thinks is a hero lets her down again and again.
that person who she thought her hero did not just destroy some happy moments she had pictured..
he also, hurt someone she loved the most AGAIN and AGAIN.
just like how he let her down everytime.
He lied to her, he threatens her.
she's so hurt, how could she feels so unsafe from her own hero.
but as she grows older she gets immuned and she learned how to forgive him.
well that part is almost settled.
but whatever it is, he was once her hero.
somebody whom she spends her chilhood days with.
and then, she and her loved one felt good for awhile until another man came.
She knows he's not such a Hero from the begining.
but why not? That'll keep her loved one happy
'just let it be' she thought
'this is nothing about me' she thought.
in the end they both suffered again.
both felt cheated AGAIN, both felt abandoned AGAIN both felt like trash AGAIN
both felt frustrated and hurt AGAIN.
but this time its double the pain, because for once they thought this is their happy ending,
they really believed it.
and then her loved one has to suffer AGAIN
and now, its in a nature form.
silent killer.
they call it Cancer
I call it pain.
Oh, did i mention her heart is also brokened by a boy whom she stupidly thought she fell in love with?
oh and did i mention she was 'used' by her friend?
Oh and i also forgot to mention, for a year, she had to suffer hell
to become her teacher favorite punching bag. to be looked down,
to be told u are never going to be good enough>
oh and did i mention her whole life she keeps her emotion unseen?
because she doesn't want to upset her loved one.
oh its not over yet,
did i mention that she never felt good of how she looks? she's been trying to change everything about her physical form since when she was mentally bullied when she was 7?
....
But somehow, she is still standing. somehow she managed to stay up there smiling and having fun
she herself doesnt know how she does it and survived all this while.
out of all, she somehow still considers herself lucky
at least she never had to starve for a day of her live
at least she gets education
at least she got a shot to get out of this mess
at least she has got quite ALOT of happy moments in her life.
at least she has got quite ALOT of happy moments in her life.
AT LEAST SHE GOT FRIENDS WHO BELIVES IN HER.
i guess thats enough for her huh?
I hope so.
but till now, she'll just keep on waiting
and waiting for her happy ending.
telling herself try not to screw things up everytime.
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