When will i get my happy ending?

New year, new Obstacles, new problem but the faced by the same old people. 

Why am i such a victim of all this?

have i done bad to people that i deserve all of this?

I have a painful yet quite a happy chilhood left behind me

well i call em interesting.

well i guess if u dont know me, u could've never guessed what happened.

Think of the saddest thing, and thats my story

but at the same time i learned that life goes on. 

and sometimes, if u just try to forget and choose to be happier, u might just be happier.

But i just wonder

How can,

someone gets so unlucky?

Somebody who she thinks is a hero lets her down again and again.

that person who she thought her hero did not just destroy some happy moments she had pictured..

he also, hurt someone she loved the most AGAIN and AGAIN. 

just like how he let her down everytime.

He lied to her, he threatens her.

she's so hurt, how could she feels so unsafe from her own hero.

but as she grows older she gets immuned and she learned how to forgive him.

well that part is almost settled.

but whatever it is, he was once her hero. 

somebody whom she spends her chilhood days with.

and then, she and her loved one felt good for awhile until another man came. 

She knows he's not such a Hero from the begining.

but why not? That'll keep her loved one happy

'just let it be' she thought

'this is nothing about me' she thought.

in the end they both suffered again.

both felt cheated AGAIN, both felt abandoned AGAIN both felt like trash AGAIN

both felt frustrated and hurt AGAIN.

but this time its double the pain, because for once they thought this is their happy ending,

they really believed it.

and then her loved one has to suffer AGAIN

and now, its in a nature form.

silent killer.

they call it Cancer

I call it pain.

Oh, did i mention her heart is also brokened by a boy whom she stupidly thought she fell in love with?

oh and did i mention she was 'used' by her friend?

Oh and i also forgot to mention, for a year, she had to suffer hell 

to become her teacher favorite punching bag. to be looked down, 

to be told u are never going to be good enough>

oh and did i mention her whole life she keeps her emotion unseen?

because she doesn't want to upset her loved one.

oh its not over yet,

did i mention that she never felt good of how she looks? she's been trying  to change everything about her physical form since when she was mentally bullied when she was 7? 

....

But somehow, she is still standing. somehow she managed to stay up there smiling and having fun

she herself doesnt know how she does it and survived all this while.

out of all, she somehow still considers herself lucky

at least she never had to starve for a day of her live

at least she gets education

at least she got a shot to get out of this mess
at least she has got quite ALOT of happy moments in her life.

AT LEAST SHE GOT FRIENDS WHO BELIVES IN HER.

i guess thats enough for her huh?

I hope so.

but till now, she'll just keep on waiting

and waiting for her happy ending. 

telling herself try not to screw things up everytime. 

its been a while huh? kinda miss this blogging feel :)

Hye. oh its so awkward now. its been awhile hehehe my last post is about my ex and its so stupid ive deleted it haha :p
so much had happened in this 6 months! :D
1st, ive been in a seriously stupid Love Game.
was in relationship with this guy out of pity then fall in love with another guy
then blablabla yada yada yada hek :p
if i could get the chance to say sorry to him for ever treating him like shit and actually fell for another guy when we're still in a relay :/ i would done it but he completely cut me off from his life now. well he was being a coward, not wanting to solve it in a serious way. 
he chose to run away from the problem. I cant really do anything, can I? but Ive never loved him and i cant. i know this coz ive tried. Im sorry. i feel guilty till today :/
***
put that aside, this year, my friends and classmates celebrated my birthday in school, during english lessons *aka our fav lesson* teacher told me to go out send the book then when i came back i smell sometin fishy and BAM! people singing the Birthday song and the BEUATIFUL GORGEOUS birthday cake suddenly came out out of no where. im so touched :') and then they bmade me a bday card <3 and and bought me a NIKE bottle. awww thankyouuu for the cake, teh card , the bottle and most of all Thankyou for remembering it <3

***
and then moving onn,
i had issues with one of my friend who is now changing and being a total bitch. well prefer not to continue bout it. ill just keep it to myself..

***
AND THENNNNNNNNNNN THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR IS PROBABLYYY THE GENY CAMP! :D hehehehehe

i had soooo much fun and ive learned alot :) best times of my life. ill miss em all. they are the only people who can call me kiddy and get away with it :p
Moments captured :')

♥♥

hair was awful but WHATEVUHH :p

 < Kevin took it ahahahaha

:D 

p/s: these are EXCLUSIVES pictures. its all privatened on fb but oh wells this is MY blog :p

and ofcourse, those who are close with me will still stay close even after camp <3

♥

♥♥♥

♥

♥

♥♥

and ofcourse, not to forget friends who will always be there. 

 *i know my hair looks terrible. syyy i still like it ;p♥♥♥* 

^one of my fav photo. EVER :) ♥♥♥♥

heeeeee shall end my post with another set of exclusives picture of me looking stupid. HAHA WTHELL

<

       ^(idk who's baby is that)

HAHAHAHAA :p okay im loosing it now XD

okay enough for now lets end it with that one. ahahah more exclusives pic coming soon LOL

whythehell am i doing this?

it feels like fun XD

toodles :) XoXo :* ♥

Accessories

Rantai ,bracelet, cincin dan earrings adalah cara terbaik utk kita lengkapkan outfit of the day kita :D

ira suka sangat tapi collection ira x banyak sangat and so, i wish to banyakkan hihi ^_^

and ira rajinnnnnnnnnn sangat tengok aksesori kat internet ni and ada banyak yg ira suka. 

di antaranya adalah yg bawah niiii

oh so pwetty :3

REAL EYES REALIZE REAL LIES 

PRETTY RITE???

I KNOWWWWW

yerr kalaulah aku ni anak org kaya *berangan* XD 

Maulidur Rasul

Salam Maulidur rasul everyone.

Jom kita berselawat sama2 ke atas Rasul Junjungan kita ...

AllahHuma Soli Ala Sayyidina Muhammad Wa ala Ali Saidina Muhammad 

AllahHuma Soli Ala Sayyidina Muhammad Wa ala Saidina Ali Muhammad 

AllahHuma Soli Ala Sayyidina Muhammad Wa ala Ali Saidina Muhammad 

ok dah? senang kan :) kalau boleh buat lebih dari 3 kali lagi bagus ^_^ ok bye :) 

Lukisan kapur 3d jalanan (3d street chalk art)

3d street chalk art ni adalah seni melukis guna kapur atas jalanraya, dinding atau apa2 permukaan lah. kalau kita cakap pasal lukisan mesti lukis atas sesuatu kan? tapi street chalk artist ni memang dasyat sampai boleh buat jadi 3D. x caya?? tengok sendiri lah deiiii








apa lah perasaan org yg 1st time lalu kat sini kan??

hebat kan? nampak real giler. 

ira lukis gambar upin ipin pun x lepas ni plak lukis ni! GILA!!

February Baby ♥ (also update pasal AJL )

February ♥

bulan feveret ku. kenapa?

special lah sbb 13 tahun dulu dalam bulan nilah aku 1st time lihat dunia 

*mcm masa tu ingat je apa yg nampak en*

mulai bulan ni saya janji akan cuba sedaya upaya utk post benda2 elok kat blog ni supaya ada org

sudi dengar cite2 aku :)

_____

okay skarang nak cite pasal AJL. WAHH SERONOKNYA HAFIZ MENANG

*kenapa aku yang over?*

ada yang mempertikaikan kemenangan Hafiz, M. Nasir dan Budi.

biasalah manusia...

tapi bagi aku, lagu Awan Nano ni cukup sifat lah.x caye? cer renungkan..

1. LIRIK

Lirik yang sangat bermakna. yelah slalu lagu mesti pasal makwe pakwe je tapi lagu ni semua pun boleh

yelah, lagu tu pasal sesorang yang menyayangi kita seadanya. dia melindungi kita

sebab dia sayang kita. jadi lagu tu boleh nyanyi kat ibu, ayah, kawan, siapa2 je yang kita sayangi.

2. Melodi

cantik sangat alunan dia. bunyi piano yang menenangkan. rasa MANIS je 

*haha ade ke lagu rasa tawar* catchy pulak tu!

3. Vokal

Vokal dia TIP TOP lah. memang Hafiz lah pun org yg sesuai bwak lagu ni.

Suara dia lapang. faham x intepretasi aku ni? HHAHAHA pelik2 je :p

lepas tu kalau kita tengok performance dia emosi yang dia bagi tu cukup mengharukan.

dia nampak jujur bila nyanyi.

4. MV

dah tengok MV dia? kalau belum, pergi tengok. tengok yg HQ dan HD ye utk lebih efektif :p

seriously. video dia x oayah nak pakai hensem2 pun boleh buat org x jemu nak tengok. 

kalau kamu pernah ada luka lama dengan org yang kamu sayang mesti terasa sayu je tengok.

aku sendiri nangis masa 1st time tengok video tu. SERIOUSSSSSSS!!

**

so itulah sifat2 utk lagu yg baik dan bagi awan nano lengkap sifatnya dan itulah yang layak. 

YAY MY FEVERET SONG *tiba2 lagi*

hahah oklah and tahun ni keputusan AJL semua bagus :D 

x macam tahun lepas. OOOPPS :p

ok bye. Assalamualaikum :)

do leave some comments yea

this week's agenda

monday :-
                1.school got no extra activity but was suppose to stayback with Chang Juan and Lavishya but failed!
                 2. tuition 3-5 *sigh
tuesday:-
               1. after school got  netball club meeting. gosh
               2. thinking of asking my mum to buy my puteri islam tudung.
               3. Vanilla Coklat on tv3 :D
               4. GLEE!

wednesday:-
                  1. not sure have koko or not
                   2. if no koko, tuisyen till 5.

thursday:-
              1. debate
              2. jog with sara

fridayy:-
            1.after school go tt till 5 .

saturday: Undefined (probably lazy day)
sunday: undefined (probably lazy day)

k done. i just wanna sort my activities LOL did it for myself. 

Not ready for school

terimalah pantun 2 kerat dari saya:

telefon berbunyi Ring  Ring Ring

omygod school is  so BORINGGGGGGG!

i mean friends are not boring. stuffs i have to do is boringgggg :(

lepas ni kena turun naik panggil cikgu,

uruskan buku suria, bagi attendance , jaga kelas, kebun angkat, 

TUITION!! huwarghhhhhhhhhhhhh mummyyy my schedule is crazzyyyyyyy :(

last week , x de sehari pun yg x stayback.

and ofcourse, im no robot, balik naklah spend time for leisure kan.

tengok tv is like a MUST with my fav tv series la , tv shows la.

and then buat hw tidur.

mana sempat study.

porbably thats the reason why cuti ni aku malas gile.

sbb nak balas dendam kat diri sendiri LOL

seriously. i need some empty slot after school. sehari pun jadi lah. 

gained weight coz dulu petang i use to cycle around 

sekarang?? scycle ape ke jadahnya balik2 terus tido!

_

 kay enough of ranting, 

im excited for tonight AJL

like my friend says . SETAHUN SEKALI KOT

*nyanyi lagu raya, setahun hanya sekali merayakan ada AJL di tv3*

kalau Yuna x menag mesti dia nyanyi

INI TIDAK ADIL TIDAK ADIL 

hahahahahah

:p

yang penting Najwa Latiff x menang, sebab bukan apa, dia ada banyak lagi peluang

untuk menang. skarang ni bagilah yg lebih dewasa dri dia menang!

and bila dia buat lagu yg meaningful sket barulah she can have my vote :)

klah nk gosok baju -.-

i hope this time it'll work.

rambut boleh tumbuh

"ibu tengok kawan ibu tu dia botak terus lepas dia habis buat chemotherapy dia"

"alah, x pe, rambut boleh tumbuh."

"lepas ni ibu x delah rebonding lagi kan.. x de rambut"

"alah, x pe rambut ibu kan cepat tumbuh. lagi pun ibu kan pakai tudung."

"ha'ah maksulung ngan opah pun cakap macam tu dekat ibu. hmmph kamu nak exam lah ibu nak 

sakit kan..."

aku senyum je..

tapi dalam hati aku rasa sebak sungguh.

dah banyak masalah mak aku kena lalui.

sekarang penyakit x guna ni pulak jadi beban.

dahlah aku ni pemalas.

kalaulah aku jadi dia, aku x tau lah.

bagi aku rambut tu mahkota perempuan.

so, kalau dah x de rambut mesti rasa sedih.

yelah 45 years hidup ada rambut elok

tiba2 x de rambut.

tapi ibu tetap cool.

aku pun tetap cool :)

Life goes on.

ada org lagi teruk...

at least we have each other.

where am i going with my life?

i seriously dont know.

i could probably end up single and forever alone.

gosh i really really am amazed at how some people can have so much confidence 

and act like they never cared about how they looked like.

thou in my eyes they look bad :p

they are just so confident. they carry themselves like they worth a million bucks.

but me? once im in a circle of friends, even if they r not pretty i can always see them looking better than me.

gosh im an insecure lil mess.

ive never told any1 bout this but i think one of my friends noticed this

but i am actually very very insecure. ive never felt good with what ive got.

maybe the only think that i can like about me is that i am very good with my words.

like very good. LOL . its like what came out of my mouth in any situation,

either bad or good would either make so much sense, or funny or it could just proove someone theyre wrong

i can even convince people that im confident and happy with the right words and a straight face. 

LOL. 

well thats like the only thing i think im good at.

TALKING. thats probably the reason why i never stop :) 

also, i never felt like anyone has ever been fair to me. 

Thank you

what is wrong with you?

or what is wrong with me?

why are u ignoring me?

all these questions keeps playing in my head.

im mad 

but then i realized im actually so sad.

my hearts aching.

u wont even want to look at my face.

i wont dare to start a cono coz im scared ill get hurt even more coz u will ignore me.

u treated agirl u know for less than a month better than me.

like so obvious u completely ignored me and told me to seat away

coz u want to listen stories from ur 'new friend' 

fine. Go on.

idk.

is it because i frankly told u i hate ur bf?

what am i suppose to do???

act like i fucking adore his ass when i dont?

come on im ur friend, i should be honest to you,

idk maybe im a lil bit too honest.

maybe it hurts ur feelings to hear me say 'I hate ur bf'

but this always happens, im like ready for it.

almost.

go on, if ur bf can make u happier, i say goodluck.

after this i will pretend like ive never existed in ur life.

im sorry if ive one to much but i didnt mean too.

maybe u forget, but it was just u and me a few years ago.

now that uve got new friends ure dumping me. im so sad.

go on hate me. 

it doesnt matter anymore. ill cry for a few day but ill continue with my life anyway.

i need to get over this. 

Its bothering me so much it took my peace. 

i felt so worthless that people alwyas do this to me. 

1st day of 2012

so 1st day of 2012, Japan had a 7.0 magnitude earthquake. thats just a lil but creepy dont u think so?
ok movin on bout me (its always bout me aint it :p )

-bangun je terus pergi kenduri (sebab bangun pun da tengah hari)

makan makan makan.

balik umah aunty, lepak kat situ saaampai petang. haha had some good time there.

malam, BBQ!(although aku makan je aku x tolong bakar pun)

story of the day: 

lepas makan lepak2, Nalia suruh aku bukak blog Mina, dia suruh aku tengok.

sbb dia terasa yg Mina dok cakap pasal dia.

erghh aku baca blog Mina tu, aku rasa macam aku paham je apa yg dia rasa, cuma mungkin x seteruk tulah

sebab aku bukan faham pun ape prob dia ngan mamat tu tapi aku dapat mengagak.

lepas tu aku bukak blog dia pulak. Kononya menyesal.

idk, kesian pun ada marah pun ada.

bila baca blog sarah aku rasa bersalah.

i never knew that her feelings for him is kinda deep :/

sorry kawan, kalau aku tau, aku xkan kenalkan depa berdua.

and Nalia pun kata dia just wannabe friends. 

i cant see this happening.

Im so stupid. i know nothing bout love.IM SO SORRY

although aku kesian kat kau sebab cara kau tulis blog kau tu macam sedih,

tapi, kenapa kau buat macam ni?

kalau kau dah x nak dia, kau patutnya set it straight once and for all. 

IT IS YOUR FAULT. and, maybe mine too. 

sorry to say.